


The Coup - Vaughn's Perspective

by princessvulcan



Category: Alias (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s01e14 The Coup, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:13:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23637361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessvulcan/pseuds/princessvulcan
Summary: This is a narrative from Vaughn's perspective during or around the time of Season 1, episode 14 - "The Coup". All dialogue is from the episode.
Relationships: Sydney Bristow/Michael Vaughn
Kudos: 10





	The Coup - Vaughn's Perspective

Vaughn couldn’t get her out of his head. Sitting at his desk, he flipped his pen between his fingers, fully knowledgeable that he should be working on a new file from Devlin but unable to force his mind to focus.

Ever since she’d walked into his office with pink hair and a busted mouth, he’d been captivated by her. It wasn’t love at first sight, no -- does that even exist? -- but as the weeks passed and her icy, aggressive exterior started to melt, he saw the most kind-hearted, deeply good human being he’d ever known-- and that was impossible to ignore.

Last week she was ready to leave SD-6, the organization that has become her daily nightmare through no fault of her own. Vaughn urged her to reconsider-- there’s no way that someone as evil and conniving as Arvin Sloane wouldn’t have her dead within 24 hours if she dared leave-- but she was adamant that Sloane would let her go peacefully since he thought of her as a daughter.

Whether Sydney was delusional or not he’d never know because SD-6 was raided by armed gunmen including a former SD-6 operative, McKenas Cole, who Sloan had left for dead on a mission, and who had returned to exact his revenge. In saving the LA cell, Sydney seemed to have changed her mind. Vaughn reminded her that she was necessary, especially after she brought the CIA a vial of liquid from the vault. “Whatever it is,” he told her, “we have this now and they don’t. Because of you.” She refused to take full responsibility for what had been done that day-- another hallmark of her good nature-- but in the end she decided to stick it out with SD-6, which was a relief to Vaughn, not only as her handler, but as her friend.

She’d asked him to go to a hockey game with her before the debacle at SD-6. He didn’t flatter himself to think that was the reason she was planning to leave, but he knew she wanted to live a normal life. He often took for granted what that looked like -- he was CIA, but he wasn’t a double-agent having to lie to the faces of the people he worked with every day, having to look behind his shoulder every second to see if he had a tail, wondering if SD-6 was somehow on to him and the classified intelligence he was providing. He honestly didn’t know how Sydney did it.

How can you be a genuinely good person, the kind of person who turns on an evil organization, and not be paralyzed with fear that you will be exposed at any given second?

When she handed him the vial, he said, “Hockey can wait. I don’t think what you’re doing here can.” He’d meant that her work at SD-6 was important and that she should stay, but he now worried that she thought he wasn’t interested in going to a hockey game, or grabbing a slice of pizza with her.

One of the next times they met was at the Observatory. Even though there was no one around, they met in their usual stance, standing three feet apart and not facing each other. Vaughn thought of the time he’d given her a present for Christmas-- a mistake that had briefly cost him his role as her handler-- and how her face lit up. He would do anything to see that face light up. Something about her smile warmed him and made life seem not so tragically cold anymore.

He briefed her on her mission. “This is a flash memory card… On your flight home just leave it on the plane. Seat pocket 15C. One of our agents will pick it up.”

“15C,” she repeated.

“Yeah.” Although the briefing was over, there was more to say. “Last week, when you talked about quitting SD-6--”

“I was being naive,” she said.

“No, but um, what you said about wanting to go to a hockey game…” His heartbeat picked up speed. “...wanting me to be a part of your life… I, uh, think I wasn’t clear about something.”

She looked up. Vaughn had the urge to tell her “never mind” and to sweep the whole thing away, but he’d started something and he knew he had to finish it.

He continued: “...That it would be nice to be in public with you, to actually get to look at you.” She looked up again and he wondered if he was crossing the line, but at least he hadn’t said anything about getting to touch her or hold her, which he desperately wanted to do. This was just friendship being expressed. Even if it were against CIA protocol, he needed her to know he cared.

He continued again, “Grab a pizza or go to a hockey game, I--” This was harder than he’d imagined: “I just… wasn’t clear that I would really like that, too.”

She smiled slightly and he knew he’d made the right decision. His speech hadn’t been about making himself feel better; it had been about making her feel better, less alone maybe. Sure she had Francie and Will, and a complicated relationship with her father, but she didn’t have anyone to confide in who knew everything about her life. Vaughn wanted to be that person, not just because he was being paid to brief her on missions and extract information from SD-6, but because he wanted to be her friend. 

At this point, anything else was completely off the table. He sometimes fantasized about a potential, but for now fictitious, future in which he and Sydney took down SD-6 together and were able to become something besides agent and handler. Maybe she even liked him back. But it was dangerous going down that road-- for all he knew, SD-6 wouldn’t be dismantled for 20 years and he wasn’t going to put his life on hold, nor could he expect her to, for that long.

Maybe she would find a civilian like Danny to fall in love with, but be careful to keep the truth a secret from him this time, and Vaughn would meet someone again or get back together with Alice. Maybe they would dismantle SD-6 together and become great friends who raised their kids together and saw each other at hockey games and dinner parties.

But the secret hope for something else was so strong that it made it difficult being her handler. Even if she felt the same way about him, there was nothing to do about it without risking both their jobs. That was why that small smile she showed before she left the Observatory was so briefly and deeply satisfying.


End file.
